What couples can learn from Olu Jacobs, Joke Silva’s marriage

In an era when celebrity marriages often make headlines for break-ups as much as they do for weddings, the enduring relationship between the late veteran actor, Olu Jacobs, and his wife, Joke Silva, offers several lessons for young couples.

The couple, who spent decades together, built not only a marriage but also a partnership around their careers, family and personal lives.

Jacobs and Silva’s relationship began with friendship. In 1981, the actors met at the National Theatre while working on Wole Soyinka’s Jero’s Metamorphosis. Jacobs reportedly told people at the rehearsal that Silva was the woman he would marry. Silva, however, was not immediately impressed. She later said they became “very good friends” before marrying four years later, in 1985.

The couple have often spoken warmly about their relationship, suggesting that their bond goes beyond romance.

One of the most important lessons is the value of friendship. Before a couple can successfully overcome the storms that come with marriage, they must be able to enjoy each other’s company. For young couples, this means creating a relationship where partners can talk, laugh, share experiences and support one another without every disagreement becoming a battle.

Another lesson is mutual respect. Both Jacobs and Silva established themselves as accomplished actors in their own right. Rather than allowing professional success to create rivalry, they built their careers while maintaining their relationship.

Silva continued to use the professional name she had established before her marriage. In a 2025 interview, she explained that Jacobs advised her not to change it because he understood the value of the brand she had built. Jacobs had also previously explained that she was already known as Joke Silva when they met and that marriage should not erase that identity.

Perhaps, the biggest lesson young couples can take from Jacobs and Silva is that marriage is not simply about the excitement of the wedding. It is about the thousands of ordinary days that follow: choosing one another, making sacrifices, offering support and continuing to build friendship.

In a 2018 interview, Silva revealed that there were several occasions when she almost ended the marriage. She recalled one incident after they had their first baby, when Jacobs returned from a film set apparently still affected by the character he had played and shouted during a conversation. Silva said she packed her clothes, carried the baby and put them in her car.

She admitted that their marriage was not perfect. In a 2014 interview, Silva said they could get angry with each other “10 times a day”, but that earlier in the marriage, disagreements could lead to hours of sulking. Later, she said they could quarrel and be laughing and talking again shortly afterwards.

Their marriage also highlights the importance of patience. In later years, Silva also became publicly associated with caring for Jacobs as he dealt with serious illness. A 2021 profile documented the couple together at home while discussing his condition.

In a 2023 interview, Silva reflected on their marriage and said she would marry Jacobs again “in a heartbeat”. She also acknowledged that they had experienced “incredible” challenges and said faith had been important to their ability to navigate them.

Another lesson from the couple is the importance of growing together. Silva and Jacobs grew in the same industry and became business partners. Their partnership went beyond romance. They co-founded Lufodo Group, which has interests in production and distribution, as well as the Lufodo Academy of Performing Arts. Lufodo describes Silva as co-founder and Co-CEO and says she and Jacobs established the group in 1986.