Life is lived with courage!

This was an experience a lady shared with me recently.

She stated, “I always tell myself that the best thing that happened to me was me deciding to keep my pregnancy at age 43. That time, I was in a relationship with a man from an African country. He was an older man and not really my preferred relationship choice (deep down) but out of loneliness, I agreed to a relationship with him. And the next thing I knew, I became pregnant!

“Right from when we met, he told me he didn’t want children again because his children were all grown-ups and already making him a grandfather and he couldn’t imagine himself still having children when his children are having their own children.

“He talked about marriage with me a couple of times but didn’t push it. I suspected he knew that I was not sure I wanted to stay with him and not have my own children, at least.”

She said further, “Deep down, I was still hoping to meet a younger Mr Right from Nigeria but when he learnt that I was pregnant, he told me it would be selfish of him to insist I terminate my first pregnancy at that age. So, he asked me to keep it and take my time to think about a future with him, but no more children!

“The day I called my father on the matter, I was crying because I was feeling like my life was messed up. Nothing dampens the spirit of a woman like taking in for a man that is not her ideal choice of a marriage partner. After listening to me, my father asked me two questions: the first question (if loosely translated) sounds like ‘did you keep a baby anywhere that you can go and pick whenever you are ready’? I said no, sir.

“Then, he asked the second question: ‘is there a man you kept somewhere waiting for you’? I gave a similar response.  And then he said, ‘everyone’s path is not a straight road; if this is the path you have found yourself on, take it and see where it is leading you to’. I tell you that nothing can be more soul-lifting than the words of one’s parents!”

She continued, “That’s how I found the courage to carry my pregnancy to full term. The father was very supportive, although he died when the child was about five years old due to health complications.

“Do you know what that man did that shocked me? As soon as my pregnancy advanced, he changed his will to make provisions for the baby’s welfare and education in the future, and he told his eldest daughter, who is closest to him, about the girl. If God calls me home today, I will not fear that my child will be alone. Her father’s daughter takes her as her own child.

“I celebrated my 55th birthday early this year. My daughter is the only child that I have and she gives me so much joy. Only God knows how empty my life would have felt without her.”

From Oby:

I will just advise every unmarried woman to live her life with courage.

No option – to be a single mother or not – is easier than the other but some options will give you more fulfillment in the twilight of your life.

Only you can tell yourself what those options are.

Only you can bring fulfillment into your own life.

The problem is that the average woman lives her life as if a man somewhere will soon arrive at her doorstep with a bouquet of fulfillment.

My sister, all that are in your own hands.

Give it to yourself first. Anybody that life eventually brings into your life can only be an icing on your cake. Nothing more!

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