How to handle being crushed on

By Abisola Adigun

Having a crush on someone is not as easy as being crushed on.  It is a very sensitive issue that needs to be handled with care, not hurting your friend, while creating boundaries to avoid stories that touch the heart.

Having a crush, especially in a relationship with someone else, calls for urgent action to protect your emotions.

Here is how to deal with a friend that has a crush on you.

  1. Be kind and clear

Letting your friend or your crush know how you feel is very important. You must let them know you are not emotionally attached to them in a kind and precise manner.

It could be hurtful for the other person to know you don’t feel the same way about them. This is why you must put your words carefully and sensitively.

Turning down a friend you have been through a lot together might be challenging, but hanging on to their feelings is also detrimental to your relationship. The earlier you make them aware you don’t feel the same way for them, the better.

It would be best to inform them of your relationship when you notice they feel emotionally attached to you. It would also be a red flag for them to stay back.

  1. Avoid triggers

As soon as you notice your friend or someone has a crush on you and you don’t feel the same way towards them, figure out the triggers that could make them more attracted to you.

It could be spending quality time with them, having long conversations online and onsite, having regular meetings, or sharing the same space. Once you discover these things, gradually reduce them without making them obvious. People gradually become emotionally attached to someone they spend quality time with.

You could keep busy with other things or spend that extra time with your partner.

ALSO READ: {{Five signs that someone has a crush on you

  1. Avoid leading them on

It is normal to feel on top of the world when you notice someone has a thing for you, but you need to be careful not to react in a way that gives them a wrong idea.

You mustn’t give reactions that give your crush the idea that you feel the same way about them. If you notice your friend or someone has a thing for you, go as far as evaluating your relationship with them.

If you keep passing comments about them being the perfect sample for you in a person or spend excessive time with them laughing and gisting about sensitive issues, you might be leading them on.


  1. Set boundaries

It would be hard for your crush to get over you or get space from you. You are responsible for setting boundaries by giving them room as much as possible. It doesn’t mean you should abandon them but reduce the intimacy level that has existed.

It might hurt you also, especially if you are not in a committed relationship, but avoiding hurting the other person is better. It is selfish to hold on to them when you don’t feel the same way about them.

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