Politics

Are successful women responsible for failure in marriage? 

Are successful women responsible for marriage failure? The society doesn’t cease to bring up this question at every opportunity it gets. The society has long before now, held on to myths that women rising above the status quo cannot have a successful marriage. 

 This is the more reason it gives itself to shaming women and making them feel less of themselves.  

Have you noticed how the society is quick to blame the woman for anything that goes wrong in her home, even if sides to the story are unknown?  

1. She can’t be submissive 

The society has held on tightly to the irrational belief that once a woman is doing pretty well at what she does, she would never be submissive to her husband or to his family. So, when her marriage fails, they are quick to judge her based on this belief.  

2. She can’t raise a child 

The society sometimes acts like it cannot bear to see a successful woman happy. They believe that a woman who is doing really well in her career and seems to have everything good going on for her cannot be a good parent.  

They are quick to advice her husband to get married to someone else in order for the children to get proper care.  

3. She can’t be present for her family 

One thing about family is that the society should not get to dictate how to run yours. All you have to do is create systems that align with what works for your family. Once a woman is doing well the society is quick to decide that she cannot be present to meet the needs of her family; most especially regarding spending quality time with them. 

4. She should be a home keeper and nothing else 

According to society, the place of a woman who is married is her home and no where else. Women are breaking this bias, and it’s a threat to people in the society. A woman’s place is not only in the kitchen or the home at large. She also has potentials within her to be unleashed.  

5. She becomes authoritative when she earns more 

People believe that successful women should be sidelined and kept from doing things that matter to them. This is so because it is believed that she would trample on the ego of her husband when she starts to earn more, and lord it over him. 

Do successful women not have the capability to maintain a successful marriage?  Here a few facts about this kind of women: 

1. They know their identity 

Nowadays, women understand that their identity is not determined by their level of success. This knowledge informs how they interact with their spouse. They don’t start to act like the head of the home because of certain achievements that they have. 

Not all women start to disregard their husbands because of the height they’ve attained in their career or other areas that matter to them. There are women who still strive to make their marriages work. Yes, women like that have been born. They exist.  

2. Successful women can raise a child 

One of the numerous super powers of a woman is her ability to multitask. She can give maximum concentration to more than one thing at a time and excel at it. They are different from men who only know how to compartmentalize. They can only pay maximum attention to one thing at a time. Successful women just know how to make parenting work alongside other things that they are working with.  

That’s why you’ll see a woman who is involved in career, family, parenting and is doing a great job at all of them.  

The society has a way of downplaying the abilities of a woman. That’s why she sees the need to go extra mile just to prove that she can lead a successful life.  

So, the society cannot bear to see successful women who have ditched the status quo to make a name for themselves. They can’t just seem to understand that it is not out of place for a successful woman to own a successful marriage. 

People see them as a threat. Yes, ‘people’ also includes females. These ones are not left out. And it is sad to know that there are people with such a backward way of thinking.  

The society has the notion that successful women are responsible for marriage failure. In other words, to make your marriage work as a woman, you need to subject yourself to failing at life. That’s illogical. The woman is expected to lay low and give in to failure at other things. So wrong.  

Examples of  successful women who are steadily rising above the status quo and haven’t failed at marriage 

  1. Ngozi Okonjo Iweala 
  2. Ibukun Awosika 
  3. Michelle Obama 
  4. Joke Silva 

There are many more women who haven’t given up on being successful women. So, you shouldn’t give up too. The society feels threatened  when women prove that they can change the narrative. Guess why you shouldn’t stop. Because you have what it takes to change the narrative.  

ALSO READ FROM  NIGERIAN TRIBUNE

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