Connect with us

Relationship

4 Life Changing Lessons I Learned After Being Raped

Published

on

It’s been six years since I first came forward about being raped. As the years go by, I grow stronger and braver. But those days will always haunt me. 

I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes we are lucky enough to understand the reason, but often we are left in the dark praying to one day understand. I don’t think I’ll ever fully understand or accept what happened to me. 

But I believe what happened to me is because I was strong enough to make it out, help others, and help change the system. I have taken a lot of time to look back at all I’ve done since those days and all the things I’ve learned. I want to share what I’ve discovered with others who may be going through something similar. 

Trauma lasts a lifetime.

No matter how many years go by, that pain will always linger. I don’t feel as angry and sad as I did six years ago, but things still trigger me and bring me back to those days. 

Reliving trauma can be exhausting on your mental and physical health. When those bad memories make their way back, I focus on regrounding myself. I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and tell myself I am safe right here right now.

Aftereffects can feel worse than the rape.

Initially, after I came forward with what happened, I thought it was finally over. Little did I know things were about to get a lot harder. 

I had to deal with police interrogations making you relive every moment over again, the school who tried to take things away from me, like going to prom and walking at graduation, and people who I grew up with suddenly bullied and threatened me daily. They made me feel like what happened was my fault. 

My abuser would verbally abuse me daily, threatening me if I spoke out he would make sure I regretted it. He made statements that no one would believe me cause he was a teacher and firefighter/paramedic in the community and people thought he was a “good” guy. Others wouldn’t suspect he could do something like this. 

The toll these things take on a person can be brutal, but I am so glad I came forward when I did because if I didn’t, my life might not be where it is today.

Trust is precious.

You don’t realize how much you trust someone until you can’t. 

I was raped by a teacher in a program I was in, a teacher who was also a firefighter and paramedic in the local community. We are supposed to be able to trust these people and have them to help guide us, but he took that away from me. He made trusting others really complicated for me. I have had a high guard up to this day. 

Everyone’s story is different, but all are valid

I wish rape didn’t exist, but sadly it does. There are so many different ways a person may be attacked. 

My rape story is a teacher using his authority to rape me. Your story may be a date gone wrong or a family member taking advantage of you. Yours may have been one time or happened multiple times. Everyone’s story is different, but we all share one thing: 

We have to live with our stories forever.

No matter your story, know you’re not alone. Take your story and make the life you deserve. You will never be the person you were before what happened to you and remember that it’s okay. 

The new you is so much stronger, braver, and a survivor. The new you is even more  beautiful. Rape is a terrible tragedy. Being raped is a lifelong trauma and pain you live with. You can make it through. I did and I believe your story and know you can do it. Take each day as another day you have survived. Stay brave, stay strong, and keep fighting.

Feature Image by M. on Unsplash

Advertisement
Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Local2 mins ago

Electricity consumer group seeks forensic audit of DisCos

Business News3 mins ago

Q3’21: Ecobank Impresses Shareholders With Triple-Digit Growth in PAT

News5 mins ago

Nigeria’s petrol imports jump by 55%, hit N2.52tn in nine months

Local23 mins ago

COVID-19 worst crisis for children in UNICEF’s 75-year history: Report

News28 mins ago

FRSC official attempting to rescue man shot dead in Ondo

Politics34 mins ago

Insecurity cause of Nigeria’s fall from preferred investment destination — FG

Entertainment37 mins ago

“I haven’t been called baby in a long time” — Actress, Yvonne Jegede laments

Sports43 mins ago

Thomas Muller Has Provided A Damning Verdict On Barcelona’s Deficiencies

Politics43 mins ago

Kwara pensioners seek payment of unpaid gratuity

Business News46 mins ago

Sanwo-Olu Suspends Proposed Walk for Peace Over COVID-19

Local46 mins ago

Whitemoney is Nigeria’s most humble celebrity: Gov. Umahi

News49 mins ago

Automate passport, national ID issuance, Reps charge Immigration, NIMC

News58 mins ago

RCCG Pastor Stabbed To Death In Lagos By New Converts

Entertainment60 mins ago

Singer, Harrysong welcomes a child with wife (video)

Local1 hour ago

New Zealand passes law allowing change of sex on birth certificates

News1 hour ago

Finance bill makes TIN mandatory for banks’ account holders

Local1 hour ago

Military calls for support from NIPR, other professional bodies

Business News2 hours ago

Outstanding Debts: Be Patient With us—NDDC Begs Contractors

News2 hours ago

Rivers man attempts suicide for losing savings to forex scam, police arrest victim

Politics2 hours ago

Umahi set to establish two more universities in Ebonyi

News19 hours ago

2023: Group cautions against fresh plots to defame Osinbajo

Business News20 hours ago

EFCC Declares MBA Forex Owner Wanted Over N231bn

Sports23 hours ago

Rio Ferdinand And Michael Owen Have Agreed That Mohamed Salah Was An Average Finisher When At Chelsea

Politics24 hours ago

3800 civil servants to write promotional exams in Bauchi

Entertainment23 hours ago

“She had plastic surgery without informing him, she was seeing another man” – Ned Nwoko’s media team spills ‘truth’ about his separation with Moroccan wife, Laila

Local5 hours ago

Nigerian Army honours 52 generals

Politics23 hours ago

Oyo NIPR holds 2021 dinner, honours Tribune, Ayefele, Onireti, others

News23 hours ago

Man kills neighbour over alleged witchcraft in Akwa Ibom

News22 hours ago

Flour Mills unveils campaign to boost food production

Business News20 hours ago

How Retirement Can be Enjoyed, Not Endured: The Imperatives!

News22 hours ago

80 Nigerians to graduate from Business School Netherlands

World17 hours ago

ZOA Accuses Yad Vashem of ‘appalling’ censorship of Jerusalem Mufti’s ties to Hitler

Politics22 hours ago

Reps probe N91.873bn Anchor Borrowers loan

Business News16 hours ago

Stanbic IBTC Pension Managers Rewards Customers

Business News23 hours ago

FG to Inject N381trn into Economy to Create Job, Tackle Poverty

Business News24 hours ago

NGX RegCo to Engage Issuers on Post-Listing Requirements

Politics15 hours ago

Dowen College parents mourn, demand justice over death of Sylvester

Local23 hours ago

U.S. imposes financial sanctions on Ugandan military chief over conspicuous abuses

Business News23 hours ago

AfDB 2021 Electricity Regulatory Index Ranks Nigeria 21

Politics19 hours ago

Reps pass bill seeking establishment of Federal School of Nursing in Lagos

Trending